Every time the music starts I can feel my aching, shaking heart. Hey wait (oh we were both fire signs). You hold on, dear, like a barnacle on a ship of fears, and I’m out here like an island on a sea of tears. If I could tear you away. I would.
What a drag not to know how you are, or which of us got the raw deal. I was a dagger but in whose heart? I was the dirt beneath whose wheel? Boxer, don’t knock me down. Writer, don’t write me out. Stranger, let’s not stay estranged. Lover, are we going separate ways? And don’t I get a say? Hey, hey, hey. What a drag not to know how you are. What a drag not to know how you feel. I tore the banner around your heart. I tore the banner that said “ideal.” Today I’m thinking of you in a new way.
Shepherd of the Stray Hearts.
Lion, be a father to the night. Lamb, be my dream of an afterlife. Silence, convince the lovers in their sheets to move in mists of effortlessness together as they sleep. I’d shy when I’d see you around. We were here at the same time in the same town. I asked for answers from the ocean waves. “If it’s meant to be then it will be,” they said. I wanted you. Bring them in so sweet, those hymns, sing them soft to me. Just like a shepherd of the stray hearts, leaving you whale bones in your front yard and a basket of spearmint on the gate behind your swing, and a white scarf around the cello cart you’re always pushing. I wanted you. Magnets find each other and I will be your lover and I will be your lover oh I oh I oh why oh why oh why?
Don’t You Want It?
The house is quiet since you left. And all the corners are unswept. I make alliances with the appliances, I try to get them to talk to me. Oh I once played romantic lead in your tragicomedy. The plot unfolded, I was left beholding all these new feelings life has to feel. What do you want, baby? Let’s do what turns you on. Don’t you want it? Don’t you want my love? Or do you know someone who does? You were wearing a roman wig and doing the porky pig. Mama, do you believe what you did conceive? Is this the future? A new reality? Uh huh. I’ve been trying to see past the future, like some future from the past. I’m in one of my new moods. I want to know if my dreams are true. I want to know if the best place to be is here with you. Uh huh.
They try to shame us out of loving darling. But they don’t pray as hard as I ache. Oh I know I don’t want to live without it darling. I know I’ve had a taste of faith. They try to take our power from us darling. They try to break our figure 8. But I know I don’t want to live without it darling. I know I’ve had a taste of faith. I know you’ve always been on my side. I know you always will be. I’ll take you on a wild ride if you slip your ship into my sea. Na na na na na na na na anything you want. Na na na na na na na na anything at all. They try to wrap their fears around us darling, but they cant make you fear your own strength. Oh I know I don’t want to live without it. I know I’ve had a taste of faith.
You weren’t lying when you claimed to be a mountain lion under the sky where all the mountains lie. You weren’t trying to be trying when you were denying that your heart is a fountain and a fire. But “no regrets,” I told my friend Bridget, and I made a little “no regrets” hand sign. Call your bets, the jury ain’t back yet from deciding what you already decided. If I know what you need, am I ever going to find you? You were applying a lip gloss shade named “Dandylion” when I realized I was painfully employed as your benign, dandy-pantsed, cowardly lion, and my last little piece of pride, it was destroyed. But “no regrets,” I told my friend Bridget, and I made a little “no regrets” hand sign. Cool your jets, the monkey’s coming back I bet from monkeying around with my time. Cast your spell, turn me on, touch me with your magic wand. Drunk on wine in an airplane with a fear of flying I realized you were never born to stay. And it was clear, in the foggy, endless atmosphere, I wasn’t born to chase you away. Don’t let the moon go down on you (I’m never gone too far).
The Boy Who Cried Wolf.
I’ve been called the boy who cried wolf, thinking it was love when it was just my glass half full. I jumped in some nearly empty pools, and hung around in dry fountains until I felt your pull. You washed the stigma from my hand. And I danced into a trance in the burning Nevada sand. Babe, I swear I’m on a path. I drove to the coast with my favorite women. And in my faded tuxedo pants I waded for my baptism. I picked a conch shell up and listened, and I stared down into its cup until I felt my prism shifting. Babe, I finally understand. My best friend is a witch and a wizard. She said, “go on head out west, go running with the lizard.” I touched the rose quartz in her hand and it felt like a pyramid in the promised land. Babe I finally understand. Go.
We’re going to be waiting for a long time, but it’ll be worth it when we find what we find. And we wont be frightened, and we won’t be nervous, it’ll be perfect and right. We’ll find god in our lovers’ arms. We’re going to be healing for a long time, but we won’t be sleepless and we’ll get better each night. Because we’re not afraid of dying, we’re afraid of wanting never to die. You set your heart out in the graveyard. Go and get your heart back from the great beyond. And your milk tastes like breaking. And your wrists smell of peppermint. And you carry your sadness on your back like a tortoise, as protection. And you sleep with a blanket that you found on the pavement, and you cling to it. And you want to be righteous and you want to find guidance, but nothing’s come yet. But I read your stars in a mason jar and you’ll make love in the back yard, and we’ll find god in our lovers’ arms. We’ll redefine god as something that we want. Redefine god as something that you want.
To Be A Dancer (I’m Alive).
It’s all dead energies in this town. It’s all pedantry and pedigree in this town. I needed an answer. I needed a song. I want to be a dancer when the music comes on. It’s all stagnancy in this town. It’s all pageantry and monopoly in this town. It’s all hierarchy in this town. It’s all self-defeat, there’s no poetry in this town. I am alive. I can call your fake (I needed an anthem) and I can give your take (I needed a song) and I am here and brave (I want to go dancing) and you’re going to want me someday (when the music comes on). I am alive. Raise your flag, it’s do or die now.
I believe in Cedar Falls. And I know I’m no miracle but I long to see your face dried from crying and learning that you love to live. If you ask a dead man what he’s learned from dying he’d say, “Give and give and give. That’s how you live.” I believe in Cedar Falls. And I know I’m no miracle but in the song about birds we were sailors watching them dive into the sea. You said, “that one up there calling out and crying, that one’s you and me. Plunging our hearts into the sea.” I believe in Cedar Falls. And I know I’m no miracle but darling like a little tree reaches up to the sun, would you reach for the warmth inside of me? Could you thrive on my love? Oh let me, let me love. I believe in Cedar Falls. And I know I’m no miracle but I hope to see you someday as a fountain and I hope you see me someday as a friend and I hope we meet on the other side of this mountain where we find out love don’t end. It just winds and turns and bends. I believe in Cedar Falls.